Cyclical Nature

the premise

As an individual with a multiplicity of intersectional lenses to explore, I endeavoured to find symbolism that could apply to many of them interchangably.
I landed on the life cycle of Pacific salmon. The rapid and often brutal life cycle of wild Pacific salmon sparks a sort of kinship in me, and it will be through them that I present "Cyclical Nature".
  My applied lenses: transgender, neurodivergent (autistic + adhd), mentally ill (BPD), chronically ill (POTS).
  Representational Readings: ☆ cyclical relationship with self due to thought distortion (bpd) and dysphoria
  ☆ The cycle of mental 'decay' and 'rebirth' as a result of navigating emotional extremes
  ☆ Physical decay- feeling like my physical health is decaying uncontrollably when I have POTS episodes
  ☆ The cyclical nature of my personal thought processing as a result of neurodivergence
  ☆ The feeling of always returning to a certain baseline state- salmon return to the same place they hatched to spawn

why fish?

Fish are A) really cool B) intricate (scales, fins, delicate nature of their flesh) in a way that translates easily into interesting costuming, and C) people don't view fish as sentient creatures for the most part, which I relate to as a neurodivergent transsexual. There is a certain kind of kinship in being separated out and viewed with a lesser level of sentience; even people who don't eat other meat will eat seafood because fish lack the level of emotion and outwardly displayed intelligence that other animals do.
This feels similar to the demographic of queer people distancing themselves from transgender people ("LGB no T"), and people who support mental health awareness or disability rights but in the same breath will vilify people with personality disorders and infantilize autistic people or treat autism and adhd like quirky personality traits rather than genuine disabilities.
Additionally, salmon feel like an appropriate fish to characterize in this performance due to the dramatic nature of their life cycle; literally decaying at the end of their lives feels like the ultimate dedication to theatre.

Stage 1: Roe

lighting- Combining stage lights and projected light, the goal is to mimic the rythmic and oscillating nature of light through water onto the stage. Stage 1 begins with weak light using darker colors to signify early morning (born at dawn, decay at dusk).

costume- To mirror the beginning of the salmon’s life, the entrance costume will be large and heavily beaded/textured to imitate salmon roe. The silhouette will be “weightless” (in quotes because it denitely would not be weightless) and top heavy, sort of like a cloud with legs. The entrance costume consists of a bulbous jacket that zips at the front for ease of removal, flowy pants that have room for proceeding costume evolutions under them, a clown-like collar, a head-piece, and bracelets that act as a constant throughout the performance.

Stage 2: Adolescence

lighting- Day is creeping in now, which should be reflected in the lighting by the addition of warmer tones and an overall brightening and lightening of the blue tones used previously.

costume- There is a textural constrast to the first costume- the silvery jumpsuit of the second stage uses lightweight fringe to immitate the distorted effect that smolt and fry achieve through their coloration under water. The head piece comes off to reveal chunky silver hair decorations. The collar comes off to reveal similarly chunky silver costume jewelry. The jacket and pants reveal a jumpsuit that uses a combination of coloring from brown, stripey smolt, and silvery fry; along with silver beaded sholder piece. The purpose of this secondary costume is to highlight the movement of the dancer and attract/reflect light.

Stage 3: Adulthood

lighting- This stage should have the brightest and lightest tones, full daylight.

costume- The adulthood stage of the costume has less material to work with (because the nature of this is striptease), which thematically works because adult salmon tend to not be very visually striking. The textural elements of this stage will include very shimmery, glittery athletic fabric shorts and a loose but similarly glitter and sequin encrusted top, with fin details sewn to the back of the shirt, and lash glued to the backs of the calves. There are also rhinestones attached to the skin, but these elements are meant to be brushed off through the duration of this stage. The jumpsuit comes off to reveal midlength shorts and a cropped shirt. The cropped shirt has a fun chest cut out (boob window), and blinged out top surgery scar decorations. There is a silvery elastic criss-crossing strap on the torso of the dancer (serves no practial purpose, just fun). Matching silver ankle bracelets are also revealed at this stage (no practial purpose again).

Stage 4: Spawning

lighting- As the peak of the day winds down, more deep tones should be being introduced back into the lights, although with a more indigo hue.

costume- The color returns in the spawning stage. The heavy emphasis on beads and sparkly texture remains, with a heavily encrusted tube top, waist beads to catch the light, and for a new textural experience, patchwork linen booty shorts. The ankle bracelets stay from the previous stage, but the fins and rhinestones are removed.

Stage 5: Decay

lighting- The lighting should reflect dusk now. The hue of dusk is more indigo than dawn, so things will appear more purple and moody. I feel that purple is a more appropriate color for decay than blue is.

costume- There is essentially nothing left at the point of decay. The colors on the nipple tassels and g-string are muted versions of the colors in spawning, because as salmon finish the spawning stage, their bodies begin to decay while they are still alive. I also chose to keep the waist beads because I think the final stage does need some added level of light capturing.

historical influences- For this performance, I drew heavily from the luxurious theatricality of the Zigfield follies and Evangeline the Oyster Girl. While this performance does not employ props aside from the clothing, I am drawn to the storytelling through burlesque; giving the audience something to contemplate and engage critically with other than my body as I feel that my body is critically engaged with far too often given my intersectional lenses.

addressing the converse- Heels suck. I don't like wearing them, and I don't like drawing them. I figured that it would be a fun charactizing element to have this performance include regular red converse, and they're on theme.